Rachel Aronson's story is a typical one. Sold into clown slavery at an early age, Ms. Aronson was discoverd by the great Flo Zigefield in 1941, just prior to America's entry into "the great war." Having studied under the great masters of her time - notably Papa Smurf and Love-a-Lot Bear, Rachel has gone on to win ten consecutive Emmy Awards for her role as "Lou Grant Jr." on The New Mary Tyler Moore Show.

What with the all-night partying, hangovers, and crazy army of fangrrls always at his heels, it can be pretty exhausting to be Jon Cinque.  Er, Mark Antony.

When cast as the Soothsayer, Iva Cipuri had no idea that she would be doubling as Obi-Wan Kenobi.   George Lucas commented "It was a bold and daring choice--the best blending of Shakespeare and Star Wars since Threepio and Juliet."

As the leader of the Underground Shakespeare Company, J. Michael DeAngelis hopes that in taking the role of Cinna the Poet, he has proved that he is in fact willing to die for his art.

Mild-mannered Phillip Deerwester is accustomed to displaying his talents wielding an acoustic guitar.  He has been delighted in this, his first acting experience, to get to wield a baseball bat with deadly intent. The Underground Shakespeare Company's legal team has been asked not to comment on the pending legal matter between Mr. Deerwester and Cinna the Poet.

Gaelle Gouriage spent all of winter break preparing for her role in Julius Caeser by working the graveyard shift at the Orange Julius stand in the Paramus Park Mall. Her best selling combo of the "Three Berry Blast" and "Southwest Chili Cheese Dog" is now known on the Orange Julius menu as the "Ides of March Special." Present this bio for $2.00 off your next purchase (Void where prohibited).

Courtney Harris appears in this production thanks to the "Doing Kenny Pearce a Favor Fund," to which she is the sole contributor.  All too late she realized the epic irony of this situation.  

A biography of Chris Johnson that fell through a space-time vortex from the year 2024 reads as follows: "Leader of the Free World and benefactor of all mankind, Chris Johnson has never forgotten his roots as member of the Underground Shakespeare Company. Upon making his first billion dollars, Mr. Johnson gave the USC a huge endowment, which in future years allowed it to change the face of the planet with it's message of peace, love and men in tights."

Rumour has it that international woman of mystery Maura Krause may in fact have been the inspiration for Gackt's opus "Emu."  Rumours that Ms Krause started this rumour herself are hateful lies by jealous and petty people who want to bring the C Girls down.

Alex Lapinski returns to the Underground Shakespeare Company as part of the "Shakesperian Actors with Disablities" program. The Underground Shakespeare Company's management would like to stress the fact that Mr. Lapinski's previous run in with a two ton stage weight is unrelated to his current cane-dependant situation.

Jesse Lasser: Six foot three and like Muhammed Ali, he floats like a butterfly and stings like poison ivy. Well, actually, more like five six, with all the mobility of yorkshire pudding, to be honest. But hey, room for improvement is good, right? Fortunately, you are unlikely to be subjected to any further performances by Mr. Lasser.

Natasha Mooney is delighted to make the cast laugh by wearing a too-large military jacket and brandishing a sword, but don't think these comic stylings fully tap the well of her talent.  As an honorary C Girl, Ms Mooney takes her responsibilities as an ambassador of hot chicks in Shakespeare seriously.  Look for her to adopt a Cambodian orphan in 2008.

Victoria Solly spends most of Julius Caser drunk. Victoria says that she spent a lot of time practicing for this role whenever she could, even practicing during her regular working hours as an atomic scientist. Awl those puns would drive you to drink too.

Irish step dancing sensation Rachel Stone is honored to be "the sweet red-headed C Girl."  The logical continuation of long and venerable tradition of all-girl supergroups like Charlie's Angels, the Spice Girls, and the Pussycat Dolls, the C Girls are sure to prove role models for a generation of empowered young women who want to be sexy and do Shakespeare.

Amelia Williams, while the youngest, is by no means a junior member of the ubiquitous C Girls.  While some fans don't know what to make of the facility with which Ms Williams discourses on dirty poetry and lighting design, true fans know that her incisive wit is an irreplaceable element in the incendiary ensemble.

Lydia Nassima Abdo wanted to perfectly recreate the world of Julius Caeser in her costumes, so she went to the video store to do some research. Sadly, she mistakenly rented Little Caeser, the 1931 gangster classic starring Edward G. Robinson. This lead to confusion at early dress rehearsals with much of the senate in pinstripe suits and Alex Lapinski feverishly chewing on a cigar, shouting "Now see here, Mugsy!" during the assasination scene.